1.  HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8  (isn’t she a treasure)
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
- – Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
- – Howard, age 8

7.  IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child )

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.

– Ricky, age 10

There are several types of orgasm.

Positive :    Oooooooo Yes

Negative :  Oooooooo No

Childish:    Oooooooo Baby

Religious:  Ooooooo God.

Husband and blonde wife are talking:

Husband:  You are spending too much money on hairdresser.

Blonde wife:  What should I do? Too many people are telling me that something is not right with my head.

Blonde is sitting at the bar.

The bartender is trying to start conversation.

Bartender: Excuse me, your glass is empty. Would you like another one?

Blonde: What am I going to do with two empty glasses?

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.”

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together
again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.’

The lady can’t take this any more, ‘You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,’ she retorted indignantly. ‘In this country, we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.’

‘Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man. ‘Who talking abouta sex?
I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell ‘Mississippi’.’

A man walks into the bedroom with a sheep on the leash and says…

“Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.”

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says….

“If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep…..not a cow.”

The guy replies, “…If you weren’t such a presumptuous bitch, you’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. “OK,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”